Introduction

I almost started my first entry of this blog with how I have tried and failed a numerous amount of times. But, I WILL NOT. I am starting fresh with a huge desire to loose at least 80 pounds to start. I have always been overweight and have always tried to loose it. I wish I had stories of "when I was thin", or "I want my body back". I have never been able to witness myself in a fit state.

I weigh about 300 pounds at this point. This is the heaviest I have ever been. I usually teeter tot around 280. Somehow those additional 20 pounds threw themselves on me. Probably somewhere between my times filled with pizza and chocolate all in the same day. Carbs and sweets are my weaknesses! They are comfort for me. I indulge when I am happy and sad, excited or bored. There never seems to be a wrong time.

Right now I feel stuffed. My legs feel like tree trunks, my blood pressure is high and I have no energy to do anything. That is not good because I also have two children. A 16yr old who deserves to have a beautiful mom she can look up to and aspire to be like and a 3yr old who deserves to have a mom who can run around with her and do something besides lay around and watch t.v or sit on the sidelines at the park and watch her play. 

I have tried Weight Watchers, calorie restriction, no carbs....eat every two hours and so on. Maybe if I could stick to something long enough i'm sure it all works to some extent. I have a history of lasting about two weeks then all is lost. But, here I am trucking along. 

I feel I am an attractive person covered by pounds of excess weight.  I don't dress like I would and should because I am not comfortable in my own skin let alone clothes. My self esteem lacks in a big way and probably screams that in my appearance on most days.  Here are a few pictures of me now:

 This was a night out with one of my closest friends Yasica. My weight stops me from being as sexy as I'd like when I go out. Even with my boyfriend I would looove to take it to another level.

 This was my graduation from Anthem College Medical Billing and Coding program. ( side note:I've yet to find a job. My resume has brought me plenty of interviews. I began to wonder if it had something to do with my weight)

I took this in the mirror at my moms house. I used it when I created my profile at www.myfitnesspal.com

I had my daughter take these profile pictures for my records as I loose weight. This was from my attempt a few months ago. But I can still use them because I am still on step one. Sad but true.

Back view. I had no idea I looked this bloated.